daily words

the calm after the storm. the creative force that is born through discomfort. the tool that i always go back to when everything else is uncertain, moving, shifting.

22.07the love

the love that
sees. welcomes. holds.
the love that
grounds. remembers.
the love that
celebrates. calms.
the love that
withstands.


23.07-30.07⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

photos —
i/ii april teBulte
iii/iv rachael vossen
vii bri burns
viii april teBulte ⠀⠀⠀⠀


31.07arrived

you arrived
when the dust of the summer settled.
after days that felt like weeks
and weeks like years.
you arrived
as i put the broom away.

you were the surest
and okayest
arrival
i have ever known.

the only thing that was certain
was the mess we were going to make.

but i’ve never cared
for things to be in order.


01.08courage

just because you’re here
don’t forget the courage
the breaking
the rebuilding
that brought you to this place.

you know how it feels to do
what you want. what you need.
sometimes it feels like breaking
your own heart.
other times it feels like
expanding it.

keep moving towards the things
that do the latter
but don’t be afraid
of the former.

you can step into joy and light
even after the cracks are mended.
especially then.

don’t you see?
the breaking
and rebuilding
let the light shine through —
but it was always within you.

you have access to it.
look within.

don’t forget the courage.
just because you’re here.


02.08feeling

it’s a constant learning
shifting from intellectualising
and thinking.
to embodying. and feeling.

despite what you have learned
you do not always have to justify
or explain
why you feel about a thing.

simply feeling
some way
about some thing
is enough.


03.08nostalgia

there are memories, people and places
that live in songs and roads
that you haven’t sang to
or driven down
in months.

going there and listening will give your stomach and heart
that sinking feeling.
suddenly, like a wave, you will think
of people you left behind.
you will remember
the romance
and the days he took care of you.

nostalgia is insidious.
let your heart sink
but don’t let it overstay.
let it rise again with a strength
in the parts of you that you discovered
with new songs.
new roads.


04.08performing

the reason i care so deeply
about living
so honestly, is
i know how exhausting it is.
performing.
the risk of being seen as your true, full self
is worth the reward of connection.

even with the potential awkward silences.
the vulnerability. the fumbling. the stuttering.

all it requires is showing up as the honest,
mess you
that you are.

not the you you wish you were.

just the you that you are
underneath all that you learned to be.

life is less tiring and more fulfilling this way.

i promise.


05.08dust

and the hardest part to admit
is
the fear of vulnerability.
of leaning in with someone.
the fear that is left over from that night.
from a lot of nights.

but i know
the deeper the pain
the more room there is for new love.
the kind that wakes you up
from a lot of things —
but mostly the fear.
the kind that feels safe.

so i will plant sunflowers
where we burned.

and i will give them light
and water
and tell them stories.
i will grow and nourish something
beautiful
from our dust.


06.08better

there are people out there
who’s bones will be full of all that yours are.
we are not meant for half-hearted relationships.
friendships. connections.
we are meant for depth.
so be picky. be selfish.
and never stop seeking
the people that leave you feeling better
than before you knew them.

that is the point, i reckon.
leaving hearts better.


10.08 — wholeness

that is the path to wholeness.
making space + time for your weird, your silly, your annoying, your anxious — all that which you see as unlovable. 
allowing it to show up and arrive when you do
and not expecting relationships to sink away when it is seen.
we are all of these things before we are conditioned to hide them — we learn to be loved is to be normal. 
but your weird, your silly, your annoying, your anxious 
it all needs love and breath just as you do. 
it needs acceptance.
and when you can do the things that used to embarrass you
and not think about how it is received, instead
tilting your head at the sky, giggling at the love you have for all that you are 
feeling the love that you have for your wholeness 
you will see
that the only people who won’t accept all of you
are the ones that haven’t seen their own shadow.


11.08

when you find the people that
help your cells expand — that
put the fear, the smallness to rest
you go.
you seek and you search with your hand in theirs
for moments that are meant for you.
you go
with their vibration in your heart and giggles in your eyes.
and you keep going, with aliveness in your bones.

these people awaken a new way of seeing.
a new way of being.
and they arrive in to your life
on purpose.